Stoic Person Eater

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Everything posted by Stoic Person Eater

  1. I really am glad you're back together. You can tell her that. "The American shithead from the internet is glad we're back together." If by chance you get married, invite me to the wedding. I'll make the trip. Swear to god.
  2. Using "intimidate" "persuade" and "bribe" all raise your skill. There is a dude at the counter @ the Black Briar and you can run a loop asking about Maven Black Briar and selecting the persuade option over and over. It's very spamable.
  3. I was home sick again yesterday. I felt like shit, but I had an entire day of Skyrim; and it worked out pretty well as I needed to burn out some of my paid sick hours before the year. So, I basically got paid for playing Skyrim yesterday. I started the Thieves' Guild quests, did a shit ton of pish posh errands for people in Riften who all needed 5+ of an expensive ingredient I could make into a banging potion. 10 fire salts? Are you fucking kidding me? 5 Ice Wraith Teeth? Fuck me! I also got the majority of the College of Winterhold missions. I saved last night at 3AM inside Labrinthia or whatever to get the Staff of Magnum Condoms so I can hopefully shove it up the ass of the Elf, Arcano or whatever. I came to the College to party; not to deal with this shit. I have kind of enjoyed the College missions and stop by there regularly to steal ingredients and sell my magical findings. Much better than having to go see that shithead in Dragon's Reach. I got my Speech skill to 100 by mashing the "A" button with the guy in the Black Briar Meadery; while watching "Top Chef" on the TV. I would switch back to the game to make sure I was still talking to him and to check my progress. I think it took an entire day in game. As soon as I hit 100, he was like, "You have to leave." I'm loving this game and can't wait to get back into it when I get off work today!
  4. I thought by their accent, the fact they travel in caravans and live in a desert world they were the sand honkys. Something very Persian about them. Ah, that explains the thick aroma of cologne and their addiction to hard to find drugs; that they only appear to have. Very spot on.
  5. Really? With Chuck? That is the most incredible news I have ever heard, I shit thee not. My heart is happy. Now fuck the hell out of her and make her call you Stoic.
  6. That's another thing I noticed, but I just assumed they conjured their shit to appear somewhere else. I have an alteration spell that turns doo-doo to Iron Ore.
  7. I'm so fucking good at sneaking, I don't leave footprints. Also, no bathrooms in Skyrim? I've been shitting in the river upstream of Whiterun. It's now called Brownrun.
  8. bones, did you get the game or are you getting pregame jitters? I played the fuck out of Skyrim this weekend. My save file is at just under 85 hours. I tried clearing out my miscellaneous tasks, and AGAIN, I got Skyrim'd. My mission list is longer than ever. Here's a list of shit I did this weekend: -Finally made my way to Riften; about to join up with the Thieves' Guild. -Got married to the chick in Riverwood, the merchant's sister. I told her to stay in Riverwood, so she still sleeps in the same with her brother. When I came to see her, she gave me 800 gold and made me food. I left and didn't have to give her a reason. There is an speech option to have her move (presumably in with me), but I think I'll keep her ass there for awhile. Much better than IRL. -Did the party mission (Diplomatic Immunity) which was pretty good. -Did a mission in Northwatch Keep rescuing the guy's brother from Whiterun from the Thalmor. Got a SHITTON of Glass and Elven armor/weapons that turned into an incredible profit margin and my most advanced armor/weapons yet. I had to recruit a mule (Jenessa(?)) to help me carry all the shit back. I dismissed her after our trip back to my house to drop shit off. I don't use companions. -During the process of creating all the weapons/armor, I maxed out my Smithing at 100. My weapons are the SHIT, son. -Got arrested in Solitude, broke out of jail by knocking down the jail wall with one click. Easiest achievement of my life. Getting my equipment back was the hardest thing ever. Make sure you have a good save file pre-arrest. I'm at 18 dragons killed so far. Seems like so many more, but each one has been equally epic. Had a Christmas party to go to Saturday night and my wife had to wait a few extra minutes because a dragon attacked as I was getting ready to save... Ah, I am also on the cusp of becoming a werewolf - just been delaying it for some reason. Probably knock it out tonight or tomorrow. ONE more thing - I had my first big glitch. As I was getting ready to leave Whiterun, the wall around the gate to Skyrim was gone and I could see the tower in the distance. I went around the gate, through what should have been a wall and walked all the way to the tower/fort to the west of Whiterun. As I got closer to the structures, the ground opened up and there were huge holes/trenches (perhaps the dungeons?) underneath them and the buildings disappear. There were no animals or plants or anything, it was just the shell of landscape. I walked back to Whiterun, got into the city by another hole in the wall, I could see the water streams flowing in midair that are supposed to be part of the waterfalls in town. Pretty fucking crazy. I reloaded as not to lose anything and the wall was there.
  9. That river is great for disposing of bodies. One day, I am going to clear out Riverwood. Maybe on another save file...
  10. A few of my favorite things: Every female bandit/forsworn/mage/whatever I kill, I leave in their underpants. When removing stuff from their inventory, I take their armor, leaving them in their underpants. I usually just drop their armor out of my inventory, I don't usually need it - but I figured someone who comes along after me might need it. Nothing like finding some new armor AND a headless corpse in brown bra and panties! I've been collecting sweet rolls. Not to eat, for decoration. I would like to have a whole room of sweet rolls in my house. YUM! I have the Dwarven Helmet of Waterbreathing - which is like Skyrim Scuba. I have been to the depths of almost every lake and every shipwreck I have come across. You'd be surprised what's down there, and there isn't a fish that's safe from me. I wish there was a way to ward off Slaughterfish though.
  11. I love climbing a mountain when all of a sudden a bear/sabrecat/wolf attacks out of nowhere - instead of hacking away at at the animal; I do a quick maneuver and FUS RO DAH them off the mountain. That will never, ever, ever, ever get old. The only other completed dragon shout I have is 'Whirlwind Sprint'; which I rarely use - but none of the other ones compare to the power of launching someone/something off a cliff. I was home sick yesterday and spent the entire day playing Skyrim, smoking blunts and eating smoked meat. I did a ton of bullshitting - I harvested over 500 chaurus eggs from the Frost Whatever Lighttower; then spent a few hours hopping around the tundra near Whiterun at night; looking for Luna Moth wings so I can make invisibility potions and get rich. I made a bunch of "Fortify Enchanting" potions and I am trying to focus on building up my enchanting level. I'm finding a lot of badass weapons and I am amazed at the amount of money they are fetching. Anyway, I spent the entire day playing, but I didn't do a single MAIN mission; just a bunch of cleanup of some miscellaneous tasks. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what the fuck the real storyline is. My story is FAR more entertaining, I assure you.
  12. I was in a dungeon going to see the blacks about some black woman working in Whiterun, I was sneaking through a puddle in a narrow tunnel and just fell through the floor. It was the common falling through polygons with brief glimpses of the sky and then it dropped me right back in the same place. I freaked for a second, but as often as I save, no glitch is a game changer for me.
  13. I really didn't take too much damage; but I am pretty sure I used potions (I usually throw in a fortify light armor potion and health regenerative potion just for the hell of it). Most of my magicka was spent on fireballs, so I resorted to potions. Potions are easier to access than the healing spell and then trying to use a healing spell during a dragon fight? Madness!
  14. I didn't play the second one, but I did play the first for a little while. It was entertaining - I think it's big technological breakthrough was all of the NPC's in the world around you. It was a lot of fun just mowing down crowds and crowds of people. Other than that, I can't really remember anything about the game.
  15. This, I get FUCKED UP by ice shards. Only thing that kills me, but their like a one-shot kill everytime. Last night I had my first wizardly showdown with a frost dragon in Winterhold. I came out of the Jarl's house and the music kicked in - DRAGON! During his first couple of circlings, I hit him with a few fireballs and the guards were attacking him as well. The dragon killed three of the four guards, which is more than I've seen before - usually only one or two will fall; so there were no more distractions. He landed on the road at the edge of Winterhold (opposite the closet) and I equipped a couple of staffs (fire and one that does damage to magic/stamina) and went at him full steam. His icy blasts didn't phase me too much, but when they did - BOOM! Healing spell and back to the fireballs. I did a fully charged blast which stunned him (think it's one of my perks) and then I FUS RO DAH'd his ass over the cliff. Fucking dead. Now I got to figure out how to get to the bottom to get his bones/scales/gold/penis.
  16. Based on the two screens and no description you have provided, I would say that you're a dickhead and this game will never come to fruition. I hope you kill yourself. I fucking hate threads like this. TWO FUCKING SCREENSHOTS? Of an old newspaper stand and FUCKING TREES? FUCK YOU!
  17. Yeah, he can only get you to level 50.
  18. There is also a glitch with the archery perk upgrade from Faendal. I found it too late to really prosper from it; but if you meet the elf Faendal in Riverwood, you can ask him to be your companion. He'll start following you around (he's also a great first follower; plus I don't think you have to do much to get him as a follower - there is a minor quest; involving a love triangle). After he is your follower, you can ask him for training in archery. You can pay him for the training and the ask him to trade, access his inventory and take all your gold back from him. Rinse and repeat. I only did this to get from archery level 47 to 50 and test it out.
  19. This is the best arrow to the knee ever.
  20. Yah dood those guize r wearin da fingerless gluvs nigga - niko's friends and cj's roommates?