Massacre

YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I can't get a crate drop. Anywhere. Ever. At all. I've been hopping public sessions all night.

If I keep adding people, my friend list is going to give people the impression I'm sociable and enjoyable to interact with. That might make it easier to get people into my van, though...

Who wants to take a ride with Uncle Massacre?

From left to right: A bunch of QDs. Edit: And maybe Kuz.

This reminds me. Someone punched me for not dressing patriotically, and I don't know who it was. I do intend to adorn this new clothing and pistol whip them at the next event, though.

I did this. It's not like I was driving my dune buggy or Injection, anyway. Or my spare Akuma. The Rhapsody was the tough choice, but I eventually take every drive off-road, and the Mirthmobile just couldn't hang in that scenario.

The 2-car garage in Sandy Shores has a slightly larger garage exterior than those 6-car options, too. Pretty fucky, yeah?

I mounted the curb at about 40 (as I so often do), and did a wheelie for about 20 feet. It's never done that before. Any other bump did the same, to a lesser extent. When I first got it, even before dropping the suspension, it never bounced like that.

Did this update fuck up certain cars, like the High Life update fucked up the Sandking? I don't remember my Blade being quite so bouncy.

I was drunk. I was high. I crashed my Akuma into their pool. Now they won't let me leave.

I forgot you can't use DLC weapons in deathmatches. So much for that Revolutionary War deathmatch.

I can finally live in Sandy Shores, but I have to narrow my cars down to 8 to do so. I already dropped from 20 to 12 when the hipster update came out. This update is just pissing me off. The hipster update gave me fun new shit, this update is giving me digital life choices.

None of the new t-shirts are black. Rockstar's trying to fuck up my style. No new tattoos, either. Why bother?

The interiors are the same as the apartment interiors.

Firework rocket launcher is weak. Took five shots to destroy a car (was firing a sixth, but the car exploded before it landed). The Liberator is fun, but definitely not worth the price. Musket is powerful, but it's a single-shot, of course, so it's not really worth it. That's what I tested in singleplayer (no way was I going to shell out $750k for a test drive online), heading online now.

Bike is shit. Great performance, no aesthetic mods. Can't change the fugly paint.

The game can tell I'm not using a mic. Why the fuck isn't there a failsafe that ensures I'm the driver in a fucking rally race?

Obviously not confirmed, but it's a safe bet that it's more limited-time content.

You mean the video isn't displaying, or you can't see the pic he links in the video description? Fuck it, here's both. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oThLxP4MzV0 http://gyazo.com/2e5...619102aadf6dc46 I don't know why the motherfucker didn't just link the image itself. Gyazo is made of fuck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oThLxP4MzV0 Allegedly.

Science bless Colorado. The rest of the country is still fucked.

I have no idea why we're doing flag things.

It's not going anywhere. That crew emblem is too perfect.

By themselves? Score.

I'm shocked DiO is the only one who left The Asylum MC. All of you should leave, until Rockstar gives us some decent content.