Massacre

For me, at least, it seems like gaming is in another rut. Fallout, TES, and GTA are dead, for at least a few years. A lazy Skyrim remaster instead of the long-overdue TES VI put Bethesda off my radar for the foreseeable future. No word on Assassin's Creed yet, either. Watch Dogs 2 was perfect, but you only get one save file, so that ruins it. Guess I'm just waiting on RDR2, for now.

It's possible you were looking at a bundle. I just looked, and it's $570. Which is still more than a PS4, and therefore retarded and overpriced. I'll drop money on VR when I can plug it into my brain. Until then, I'd just be swinging my arms around and fucking up my apartment.

Oh Jesus, there was Jack the Ripper DLC? Yeah, I'm going to have to get back into this one.

I didn't realize that was out. I assume it's only for the console version.

Shit, I never saw that spoiler. I know I finished the main story, but I guess I must have missed some side stuff. You know what that means. Time to start a completely new file and knock out 100% of it.

Movie critics are pseudo-intellectual pricks with terrible taste. Their job is to praise what they're paid to praise and badmouth everything else. Same goes for game reviewers and food critics. Success depends on how much money you throw around once the product is finished. This movie was gold. Bonus points for not disputing the established storyline from the game. I wouldn't be surprised to see this new Animus - which is the only real difference - in a future game, if we ever get any real-world gameplay segments again.

Someone finally did it. Someone finally made a good video game movie. Congratulations, Assassin's Creed.

It's in memory of the Canadian Great Depression. There wasn't an economic hardship, they just had a shortage of sleds, the winter of 1896. They used cardboard boxes instead, and now they do the same, every December 26th. As is tradition. Never forget Canada's third greatest tragedy.* *Their second greatest tragedy was a maple syrup shortage in 1964, when all the maple trees went on strike. The strike finally ended in February of 1965, when the prime minister agreed to put a maple leaf on the previously nonexistent Canadian flag.** Their greatest tragedy, of course, was in May of 2011, when the Princess of Canada was kidnapped by tooth decay. Thankfully, three brave champions rescued her, defeating tooth decay forever. **Part of this is true. Canada didn't have a flag until 1965. This concludes Massacre's I Just Made This Up: Special Boxing Day Edition. Please join us next time, when we'll be discussing the Louisiana Purchase.

Bear is one of those meats that doesn't even need spices (though any meat benefits from it, obviously). It's phenomenal as-is. I've tried kangaroo and rattlesnake, recently. Kangaroo is magnificent. The rattlesnake was poorly prepared, but that left it with a texture similar to jerky, so I can't really complain.

Ah, the one time of the year that I actually still enjoy this game.

Jesus, those Warstock cars are ridiculously overpriced. Pretty much negates any interest I had in this.

They went from finally giving us Biker DLC to... encouraging us to drive in the oncoming lane. Which I already do. Often.

Syndicate is phenomenal. It really gave Black Flag a run for its money.

A word of advice: Don't go into Primal expecting any semblance of a story. "Him throw rock at me" is about as deep as it gets. They're cavemen, after all.

Ballistic weave everything? Fucking finally. I've stolen every unique outfit in the game from its wearer. Now I can actually use some of them. Dunno if it made it to consoles, but there's a mod out there that lets you layer armor over any outfit, which I'd want more for looks than protection. So many shitty outfits that just needed a couple of armor pieces to be great outfits.

Then you're in the clear. Any interest in continuing the family business (whatever that may have been)? We haven't gotten an update on your situation in quite a while. World of opportunity opens up, once you realize that rock bottom is a gift, not a curse.

There's no indication that the police are actually looking for the guy; he just hasn't updated his address. Also, in America, you're free to just rent out individual rooms of your house and aren't required to background check the person moving in. From a legal standpoint, it's more like having a roommate than a tenant. This may not apply to every state. The phone cannot and will not come back on you. If you disposed of it properly, they have no way of knowing what happened, and they likely won't ever bother you again. So long as your tenant is done with the shit that got him registered. But again, in that instance, just say you didn't know.

You're not required to say anything, nor should you. Snitches get stitches. Just feign ignorance if anything comes of it. As of the moment you read this, you have officially forgotten everything you know about your tenant's criminal background. Enjoy your lifted burden. You disposed of evidence and likely interfered with an investigation or two, by destroying your old man's phone. You've done well. For what it's worth, your Uncle Massacre is proud of you.

Give him hair. Literally all you're missing.

You need a Bernie. Use the zombie butler mask, from Halloween.

Kirkman has said several times that he won't kill Rick. He didn't start teasing that he might until the show started and became massively popular. Rick is safe, unless the show blatantly and permanently shifts to focus on a different character. Unlike GoT, TWD has a definite, indisputable main character, and that won't change, even if the role does.

Meh. I bought a rat bike the first day, I don't have need for anything else.

Every game is apparently a glitchy, bug-ridden piece of shit, nowadays. Everything I read for every game (cookie-cutter moneymakers like CoD excluded - surprise surprise) batters it for being buggy, but I never see anything of the sort, if I play the game myself. Review sites are just there to shit on something vaguely interesting, and praise what they're paid to praise. Witcher 3 was pretty decent. Not at all worthy of the circlejerk people had when it first came out, but decent. Their rabid fanbase is the reason Fallout 4 had such a shitty user score on Metacritic. That and those nostalgic mongoloids at NMA.

My condolences. I've lost people to cancer. I hope she fares well and you and yours get through this in one piece.

I'm worried we're in for another season of filler, actually. Negan pretty much shut everyone down, and it's going to be quite some time before anyone grows a pair of balls. Unless Carol does what she did to Terminus, once she finds out what's happened.