Massacre

Meh. Rockstar may as well announce their games with "hey, we're working on this. Be done whenever." Release dates from them mean nothing.

Guys, what is cilantro supposed to taste like? The internet says it's because of a genetic fuckup in my brain that it tastes like dish soap, to me. I'm just happy to have one mental problem that doesn't put me at risk of prison time or institutionalization.

A woman with dick is like finding a prize in your cereal that you didn't know would be there, but instead of a decoder ring, you just spend the next two weeks rethinking your entire life and your understanding of your sexuality. I don't go out much, anymore.

Jesus Christ. It's like no one thought it through any further than "hey guys, what if we could climb the pyramids?" I'm hoping it's bullshit and they go with something more interesting. And I don't even want to hear about a new AC unless it's going to be out this year. A hype train should never be more than six months long.

Nope. Sorry, Rockstar, not coming back.

I'm thinking he may be taking the role Dwight took over in the comics after the thing happens. Or at least I hope he does. Would prefer he be around for the long haul.

Rockstar was still pretending to be an edgy, rebellious company that didn't buy into corporate - ah, fuck it. They were pretending to be rock stars. Now that they're blatantly all about money, I wouldn't be surprised to see them on an E3 stage.

If I'm ever in New York... Let's go bowling.

Quality.

Sure, your nudes were leaked and thousands of guys are jacking off to them - but that glitter filter made your vagina look fantastic.

At this point, social media is 86% young women arbitrarily using any form of communication that can be performed by standard mobile phone options, but requires a third party application instead. The other 14% is grandmas posting in all caps on Facebook, asking how to turn off caps lock.

At this point, I only use Twitter because it's an easy way to set up a news feed for things that I actually care about.

As a fellow who despises the world around him, VR appeals to me. But what we have now isn't VR. It's PS Move with a Virtual Boy headset. I demand the ability to plug a device directly into my head and enter a better world. LSD is currently that device, but an electronic option would be nice.

I really want to be enthused about gun running, but I know it'll just be re-skinned CEO missions, like MCs were. I guess I'll get new pants out of it or some shit.

I've always wondered what that's like.

Well, prohibition doesn't actually work, it just highly inconveniences.

As a stoner, your personal freedom was always in danger. As an American, my personal freedom was always in danger.

Trump has decided that legalization of marijuana, just like pretty much all the other progress we've made over the last 8 years, is a no-go. Gotta make sure those privatized prisons are meeting their minimum occupancy quotas, after all. Can't let that totally unjustifiable source of income die, even though legal marijuana would make significantly more money. Fun fact: Legal marijuana sales totaled $6.7 billion, last year.

Plus, it sounds like Mike Tyson trying to say "purse."

bOnEs, I'm concerned by how increasingly Asian your appearance has become, over the years.

I keep thinking it's photoshopped. It's like seeing a crossover episode of two cartoons from completely different networks.

I'm excited you guys finally got to fuck. I can tell from the smug satisfaction in your eyes that you were on top, bOnEs.

Montana looks like he'd been waiting all night for the roofie to hit. Poor Jizzy.

That is correct. We're all about needless divisiveness and a complete and total halting of our progress as a species. *Builds small wall between bOnEs and myself* Hey, man, I'm gonna need you to pay for this.

So we murder all the children playing? Looks like it's on me to save GTA. I always knew it would come to this.