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Everything posted by beatnicpie

  1. Everybody DANCE!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Jizzy


      *Starts krumping hard as fuck*

    3. DiO


      *doesn't dance

    4. gtagrl


      *hasn't stopped dancing since last status update*

  2. Kevin Smith does a decent job with his dick and fart jokes, but tends to aspire to something deeper while failing miserably. Now that I'm out of my twenties I have no real time to devout to that fat fucks work. That being said, I gave Kevin Smith a helluva blow job before I let him put it in my butt.
  3. The first time I did stand up I was in LA at The Improv. As a "radical white man" I decided to focus on a story all about race. Also my head was shaved down to the scalp making me look extra neo-nazi. I made sure to use the racial slurs spic, spade, blue eyed white devil, and chinks. I got laughs from the black, yellow, and brown community. All the white folks sat there in silent shock. The comedian who followed was a black gentleman that opened with, "Spics and spades? You're going old school with your racism." The story was about a time I had eaten a good amount of magic mushrooms and talked with my neighbors, two of them of African descent, two of Mexican descent. At that time my head was also shaved. One of my neighbors said to another, "Man you are lazy." His response, "I'm not lazy, I'm just misunderstood. I'm just a black man living in a white man's world." We all laughed. I didn't really get it, but I was tripping balls, so I laughed anyway. One of my other neighbors chimed in, "Yeah! I'm misunderstood too. I'm just a latino living in a white man's world!" More laughter. As the only white representative in this rainbow coalition, I felt I had to put in my two bits. "I'm misunderstood as well. I'm a white ma with a shaved head." Very nearly got an ass kicking for that.
  4. GTA heist with the ladies - break into tampon factory + steal all tampons = profit. My sexism is truly sexy.
  5. *sigh* Makes me miss Rambo. Y'know, back before he fought beside the Taliban.
  6. Boobies aren't constantly on display, but there is plenty of nip shots. I'm a big fan of the show. Catching my wife up on season 1. Can't wait to watch season 2. Mustaches are way hetero.
  7. Hey, I'm a classy gal. I charge reasonable prices for my suck jobs. That'll be $3.50.
  8. Servers are fixed and everything is fine. Made $80k this morning.
  9. Rockstar services are down, so no jobs, races, deathmatches, etc. are available in GTAO, so everyone is going full psycho out of boredom/lack of creative thinking. I shall be staying off for a bit...
  10. No jobs available in my GTAO session. Not even arm wrestling...

    1. gtagrl


      Damn unions are on strike again.

    2. DuPz0r


      You sure R* cloud isn't down? Does that sometimes.

  11. That's highly arousing... It also sounds like an outright sexual challenge.
  12. How shall I do that? By the way, duct tape is like the force. It's light on one side, dark on the other, and it's the stuff that holds the universe together.
  13. Starting a new job today. Time to sell some board games.

    1. Ginginho


      Could I have a GTA version of Monopoly please?

    2. gtagrl


      Nice, a nerd store.

    3. gtagrl


      How'd it go, beatnic?

  14. I get at least four full fledged psychos per every free roam I enter. I one I got a lunatic ranking for defending myself against some guy that wouldn't leave me be. On the plus side, I've met up with some old RDR buddies and am owning GTAO death matches with them.
  15. He once told me my eyes were pretty.
  16. Been watching Penny Dreadful. Thanks Massy.
  17. This is just another reason for me to spend no time in free roam.
  18. What's the best way to tell your boss they suck at their job?

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Rob


      Shit on his desk

    3. TreeFitty


      Get promoted to his level and do his job better.

    4. Barrybran


      Ask him to make you a coffee and apologise for mistaking him for the receptionist/intern.