Massacre

Pro tip: People don't handle it well, when you walk into a strip club with a gas mask on. People don't handle it well when you walk into anywhere other than a biohazard area with a gas mask on. Especially if you tell people that they are the biohazard. Some people can't handle honest social commentary.

Today I learned that I can't remove spoiler tags from a quote, on the mobile site. Also, as an addendum to this list, I highly recommend Broad City. Pretty much the same thing as Workaholics, but set in New York and with two Jewish girls.

Entered thread to remove it from unread content, ended up masturbating to a 6/10 white girl, then noticed the band in the video looks less masculine than the Backstreet Boys. What a journey I've been on, today.

Watch Dogs 2 was incredible. They improved on everything from the first game. Highly recommend.

Skyrim confirmed for Nintendo Switch. The console is officially relevant now. You know, as long as there are mods.

You're in better company than you think.

I used the same livery because it's identical to a livery I used on a car in Saints Row, a decade ago. The nostalgia was too much to pass up.

I'm intrigued by WWI because, long before Syndicate, there was mention of an Assassin who operated as a combat medic in order to move freely through the battlefield. WWI spans a lot of different environments, and I'd definitely be interested in that. The Assassin fighting style is perfect for trench warfare. The trenches were so claustrophobic that every fight would be like top-tier hallway fight scene choreography.

Ancient Egypt is what I've heard most. Personally, I think that would be a mistake. Ancient Egypt was almost entirely lacking the high rooftops and narrow alleyways that Assassin's Creed has become known for. The people who have been clamoring for Egypt for years don't realize how boring it actually was. It's like they imagined climbing a pyramid and gave it no thought beyond that. Moving the time period forward little by little is the best option.

For me, at least, it seems like gaming is in another rut. Fallout, TES, and GTA are dead, for at least a few years. A lazy Skyrim remaster instead of the long-overdue TES VI put Bethesda off my radar for the foreseeable future. No word on Assassin's Creed yet, either. Watch Dogs 2 was perfect, but you only get one save file, so that ruins it. Guess I'm just waiting on RDR2, for now.

It's possible you were looking at a bundle. I just looked, and it's $570. Which is still more than a PS4, and therefore retarded and overpriced. I'll drop money on VR when I can plug it into my brain. Until then, I'd just be swinging my arms around and fucking up my apartment.

Oh Jesus, there was Jack the Ripper DLC? Yeah, I'm going to have to get back into this one.

I didn't realize that was out. I assume it's only for the console version.

Shit, I never saw that spoiler. I know I finished the main story, but I guess I must have missed some side stuff. You know what that means. Time to start a completely new file and knock out 100% of it.

Movie critics are pseudo-intellectual pricks with terrible taste. Their job is to praise what they're paid to praise and badmouth everything else. Same goes for game reviewers and food critics. Success depends on how much money you throw around once the product is finished. This movie was gold. Bonus points for not disputing the established storyline from the game. I wouldn't be surprised to see this new Animus - which is the only real difference - in a future game, if we ever get any real-world gameplay segments again.

Someone finally did it. Someone finally made a good video game movie. Congratulations, Assassin's Creed.

It's in memory of the Canadian Great Depression. There wasn't an economic hardship, they just had a shortage of sleds, the winter of 1896. They used cardboard boxes instead, and now they do the same, every December 26th. As is tradition. Never forget Canada's third greatest tragedy.* *Their second greatest tragedy was a maple syrup shortage in 1964, when all the maple trees went on strike. The strike finally ended in February of 1965, when the prime minister agreed to put a maple leaf on the previously nonexistent Canadian flag.** Their greatest tragedy, of course, was in May of 2011, when the Princess of Canada was kidnapped by tooth decay. Thankfully, three brave champions rescued her, defeating tooth decay forever. **Part of this is true. Canada didn't have a flag until 1965. This concludes Massacre's I Just Made This Up: Special Boxing Day Edition. Please join us next time, when we'll be discussing the Louisiana Purchase.

Bear is one of those meats that doesn't even need spices (though any meat benefits from it, obviously). It's phenomenal as-is. I've tried kangaroo and rattlesnake, recently. Kangaroo is magnificent. The rattlesnake was poorly prepared, but that left it with a texture similar to jerky, so I can't really complain.

Ah, the one time of the year that I actually still enjoy this game.

Jesus, those Warstock cars are ridiculously overpriced. Pretty much negates any interest I had in this.

They went from finally giving us Biker DLC to... encouraging us to drive in the oncoming lane. Which I already do. Often.

Syndicate is phenomenal. It really gave Black Flag a run for its money.

A word of advice: Don't go into Primal expecting any semblance of a story. "Him throw rock at me" is about as deep as it gets. They're cavemen, after all.

Ballistic weave everything? Fucking finally. I've stolen every unique outfit in the game from its wearer. Now I can actually use some of them. Dunno if it made it to consoles, but there's a mod out there that lets you layer armor over any outfit, which I'd want more for looks than protection. So many shitty outfits that just needed a couple of armor pieces to be great outfits.

Then you're in the clear. Any interest in continuing the family business (whatever that may have been)? We haven't gotten an update on your situation in quite a while. World of opportunity opens up, once you realize that rock bottom is a gift, not a curse.