Stoic Person Eater

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Posts posted by Stoic Person Eater

  1. We should change this topic to which celebrities we would LIKE to see in GTAV.

    I would like to see:

    Hulk Hogan


    Nick Hogan

    Lauren Conrad

    Brooke Hogan

    Simon Cowell

    The Queen of England

    Piers Morgan

    Larry King

    Casey Anthony

    King Tut

    Red Hot Chili Peppers

    CJ (from San Andreas)

    Fingerless Gloves


    CJ isn't a celebrity, he's a character voiced by one. From viewing your other posts, I'm not sure if you're being serious or a master troll...

    I'm talking about CJ Spiller, you dumb mook. Just because he is black and ganster as fuck doesn't mean I am talking about a stupid video game character.

    Fingerless gloves isnt a celeb either, i like how u miss that out lol

    Tee-hee. You're so cute.

  2. I'm considering restarting my game because I think I've been doing everything arse-ways round. I know there's no rule as to how you should go about playing but I feel I should have been doing the quests as I got them because now I have a 150 thousand million quests in my inventory and have to scroll through them and try to decide which one I want to do. I've explored most of the map and found all but a few (I reckon) locations but it doesn't feel like I'm part of a story, it'll be a shame to lose all the location markers on the map etc but now that I know how the game actually works I'm considering a restart.

    I'm only level 15 atm - anyone reckon it would be a mistake to start over or the right thing to do?

    I did a fair bit of exploring before I started questing and now I find myself going back to places that I've already cleared for missions. Basically, I am going through the same dungeons to find one new item on a mission instead of just exploring.

  3. Leave it to a woman to put in her two cents when no one fucking asked for it. Next time, you get slapped.

    I haven't been paying much attention to the GTAV forums. I HATE the ramblings of these proud americans who stake their claim why CJ will be back; why the protagonist is the guy from the balcony!; FINGERLESS gloves; so I have been avoiding the whole GTAV speculation threads. I figured with the new game coming out; these new members will grow like tadpoles in the threads into mighty frogs, that I can play frog baseball with, metaphorically. Maybe I need to start patrolling the GTAV threads again; no one can kill a shitty thread like I can. I'd like to apply for moderator immunity while I ethnically cleanse the forums of gypsies, proud americans, and other undesirables killing the common sense on this site. I don't want to risk increasing my Warn % before the fucking game even comes out.

    • Like 2

  4. I just managed to get Skyrim today. Amazing so far! Anyone got any tips? I don't feel like reading 47 past pages.

    Fuck off?

    I only read the journals, they are interesting.

    I read the journals too, usually have something to do with the quest at hand and are always interesting.

    • Like 1

  5. I thought there was an app you could download for your e-reader that has every book in the game that you can actually sit and read when you're away from the game. I'll look around for it.

    I only read the books that have a value of 50+ as they are usually training books. I also take those and sell them. Other books I skim through, I've maybe read six or seven of them through; but I've read bits and pieces of hundreds.

    My game file is nearing the 150 hour mark. Sheesh.

  6. Having played Skyrim for the last week as a High Elf and Khajiit, I sort of wish Bethesda had added slightly greater differences in story for the non-human races. In no particular order, here are my "issues".

    1. Why can't my High Elf join the Thalmor, or at least co-operate with them? Couldn't Beth have added one side quest where you had to steal plans from an Imperial camp in return for money/unique weapon/follower etc.

    2. Why is my Khajiit allowed to walk freely in the towns of Skyrim when they are supposed to be banned from entering? Beth could have (once again) added a side quest similar to becoming Orc Kin, where you had to help a town's Jarl clear out a location or recover a lost weapon. Also, Khajiit should get extra discounts when buying from Khajiit caravans.

    The answer to both your questions are: you are the DRAGONBORN. No matter your race, most characters treat you like shit the first time they meet you and the guards don't cut anyone any slack when it comes to fucking about.

    Your character is unique and while they could be any race; they're not always going to be trusted by their race. Your character is destined for greatness, not to be a Thalmor (that's elven for TOTAL proud american). And even if you are a mangy cat person, you still have the potential to be a hero of the people and change Tamriel's perception of your pussy self. Or you could just be bitter and fucking kill everyone.

    Also, you can't marry a Khajit in the game. And the lizard women have tits... to breastfeed?

    I played for a few hours last night. I waste WAY too much time selling weapons and all that business shit. Almost to 100,000 septims though. I'm also officially a master thief. I don't need the Thieves' Guild approval, I've stolen all their shit and pickpocketed most of them.

  7. it's not taking a shit because of me, i just didn't want to double-post...

    but yea, i made a ring of underwater breathing too called the "ring of air"... i really need to improve my enchanting, i have learned a couple of spells and i have about 20 blank silver rings... i've spent some time enchanting the water-breathing on lots of silver rings just to improve my skill... then sell them to a vendor to improve my speech skills... i need to sink some perks into enchanting though, but i am also close to unlocking the next smithing perk for heavy armor

    My next character I will focus on the enchanting and alchemy general perks to increase the quality of the product. Same with Smithing. The bonuses are nice, but the increase in the % make the biggest difference in the long run.

  8. I feel like this thread has taken a recent shit.

    None the less, I am still playing. I spent an entire night the other day just reforging, reupgrading and reenchanting all my weapons and armor; because I realized you could NAME them when enchanting them. How did I miss this before? I alphabetized all my armor and rings/necklaces so it's like "alchemy ring, alchemy necklace, alchemy gauntlets". The other armor categories are Magicka Regen, Haggling, "Carry Shit" and Smithing and all the necessary armor for each category. With my "Carry Shit" armor (boots, gauntlets, ring and necklace) I can carry an additional 120 lbs. of shit back with me, on top of my high stamina. I also have the "SCUBA Ring" which is for waterbreathing (a ring? ohhkay). My Haggling armor is "Jew Ring" and "Jew Necklace".

    I also alphabetized my weapons by naming them "Bow of..." or "Sword of...". Soul Bow is "Bow of Go Fuck Yourself". Fire Bow is "Bow of Satan's Semen". Ice Bow is "Bow of Hard Nipples", etc.

    It took a lot of waiting around for supplies for all my glass armor and weapons. I used this time to create potions and boost my alchemy and increase my money. After selling off my "unnamed" weapons and manipulating the market place by creating baller potions, selling them off for everything else and then selling off everything else to everyone else, I made a FUCKTON of money. I probably will still keep opening Burial Urns for the three gold inside.

    Got the night off and the wife is going out with her friends. SKYRIM-HO!

  9. Bones, don't rush it. Follow your path. It's not about keeping up with some chick (who is probably a dood) on the forums. There are a lot of good strategies and experiences listed here, but have your own and be open to finding things.

    And for god sake, walk everywhere and explore everything.

  10. Today, the Skyrim topic beat out the Fallout topic for the second highest number of replies on the forums. Now let's see if it can overcome the hundreds of noob posts in the GTA V wishlist topic.

    Of course it can. That thread is full of noobs, I don't want anything to do with it.

    i like to surpise the enemy... make a noise to get their attention

    Speaking of which, the Throw Voice shout is totally fucking useless. They can hear the voice you project, yes, but they also hear your whisper so after they realised that generic rock wall isn't the source, they come straight for you.

    Yeah, I last night I went to Shearpoint and finally killed that bastard Krosis and got the Whisper Shout. I got found out immediately each time. I'll stick to plinking arrows off the walls or distracting them with a ghost wolf.

    I got the Rose of Sanguine or whatever last night. It was a pretty good quest, very reminiscent of a recent Hollywood movie where the characters drank too much. Now I can summon up a Daedra to help kill whatever I need to. Pretty freaking awesome.

  11. i've worn that helmet for 75% of my time in skyrim... i wear heavy armor and so far it's the only heavy armored helmet i've come across... and now that i have my own house, i don't have all those worthless potions in my inventory anymore... seriously, the health and stamina ones are the only ones i've used thus far...

    The enchanting potions and blacksmith potions are great for getting that extra bit of power when creating or crafting weapons. I keep them and Ultimate Healing/Magicka and Stamina only, but I pick up any potion I find.

  12. I'm not a huge fan of the hackin' and slashin'. It's certainly improved in Skyrim from Oblivion. I use my swords just as much as my bow, but for different situations. I've improved my one-handed enough to be able to lop people's heads off. It's such a beautiful finishing move and I get no greater pleasure than placing their head on a plate, in a pot, in a fire, on someone's bed, in the river, on their own crotch, etc. I'm not sure if there is a stat for the number of decapitations, but if there is - I'm guessing I am upwards of 40.

    I don't bother with War Axes or Maces, just blades. Perhaps my next character will use more blunt objects.

  13. I only have one character. I imagine one day I will play another, but maybe not. My guy is a Nord with a shaved head and a big bushy brown beard. I was going for the whole wizardly look, but I was very dismayed when I learned there wasn't a floppy wizard hat. I wish I could change up his face, but instead I just keep a Dragon Priest Mask on him - except when he's wearing a circlet or helmet with an enchantment for smithing/alchemy/pickpocketing/etc and I am forced to look at my ugly ass. I guess he's damn handsome for a Nord, so fuck it. I think my next character might be a hella evil Khajiit - I really liked the character models for them, but I didn't wanted to get treated like a two-headed jew by the NPC's.

    I didn't really get to play over the Christmas break, but I did get to play last night (1245-315AM) when I got home from traveling. I finally got my enchanting skill to 100. I think now my speech, enchanting and smithing skills are all at 100. I'm trying to focus on my alchemy in the meantime. I finally invested in the perk that allowed me to create the dragon armor. I wish there was like a dragon sword I could make, but the armor is pretty bad ass. My character focuses on light armor, but I use the heavy armor gauntlets and boots for looking fucking awesome. I had saved 20+ dragons worth of Dragon Bones and Dragon Scales, so I crafted a ton of armor, made it, upgraded it, and then enchanted it (set for smithing, set for alchemy, set for magicka, etc.) I spent most of last night crafting armor and jewelry to enchant with different powers; I bought a bunch of cheaper and useful enchanted items in the stores of Whiterun and de-enchanted them in Dragonsreach to level up my enchanting skills. I also made a shit-ton of money.

    Speaking of shit-tons of money, if you focus on alchemy at all; here are the money makers and their ingredients. I never have to work again thanks to these handy recipes:

    Damage Magicka Regen:

    Bear claws, Blue Butterfly Wing, Blue Mountain Flower, Chickens Egg, Glow Dust, Hanging Moss, Nightshade, Spider Egg, Spriggan Sap

    Damage Stamina Regen:

    Creep cluster, Frost Mirriam, Histcarp, Juniper Berries, Large Antlers, Silverside Perch, Skeever Tail, Wheat


    Chaurus Eggs, Nirnroot, Ice Wraith Teeth, Luna Moth Wing, Vampire Dust


    Briar Heart, Canis Root, Imp Stool, Swamp Fungal Pod

    Ok so what's the point of invisibility, I used it for the first time last night from the Shadow Stone after an assassin attacked me, I activated it and the bastard still kept coming after me. Great invisibility when people can still attack you.

    See above, invisibility is for selling, not for using. Change your Stone to something more beneficial like the lockpick one.

    Protip: Have a secondary weapon for your stealth archer. My guy is a stealth archer, and it doesn't even work as a character half the time, because there's either too many enemies at once to pick off before they all run at you, you get attacked before you see the enemy so you can't sneak up on them, or you spend half the game in small caves with no room to sneak up on anyone/you cant see far enough.

    It's fun outside or if there's only 1-2 enemies you need to pick off but otherwise the 'stealth' aspect of stealth characters in general fails pretty badly in combat situations. Which is why I have a kickass warhammer incase I need to get up close.

    It's actually pretty realistic I would say. An enemy NPC sees one of his friends get killed by an arrow, they are going to start searching you out. Even if you're 100 level sneak, you're not going to be invisible while standing in plain site. I don't have any problems taking people/creatures out, even in large quantities as I use cover - including the cover of darkness to hide. In a cave, all you have to do is find the darkest corner and just take everyone out. I've had people walk right up to me, unable to see me crouching there, then I just put an arrow in their dick. Also, if you're a serious archer/thief and you don't have the Deadly Aim sneak perk, for three times the damage with a bow, tsk, tsk.

    But you are right to carry another weapon. As an archer/thief myself, I am also notorious for creeping right up on someone and cutting their fucking throat with my glass dagger with the soul trap. If you increase your sneak skill enough, you can execute a roll when in sneak mode and come out of the somersault into an assassination. I'm deadlier than the guys from Assassin's Creed.

    I carry two bows, one elven and one glass. One has burning capabilities and one has a soul trap. I also carry an elven sword and a glass sword. One has freezing capabilities, the other has burning ones. I also have my glass dagger for close combat soul cleanup. None of my weapons are bought from the stores or found on a quest, they are all hand-forged, upgraded and enchanted by yours truly. Same as my armor. I'm only using dwarven arrows and up.

    I also have a ring for archery. Usually no one walks away from the business end of my arrow and their friends should spend less time looking for me and spend more time trying to get the fuck out of there before I put an arrow in their dick too.

    Ha, "Pro-tip". Suck Massacre's balls.

    Oh yeah, I also reached level 50 last night. That was the last thing I did before shutting down for the night/wee hours of the morning.

    Wife is out of town and I have the house to myself tonight. Sounds like I might need to pick up a few red bulls for tonight.

  14. Yeah buddy! We're staying in a hotel for NYE, I'll be sure to whip out Stoic just before I donkey punch her. Zing!

    I really am glad you're back together. You can tell her that. "The American shithead from the internet is glad we're back together." If by chance you get married, invite me to the wedding. I'll make the trip. Swear to god.

  15. So the speech skill improves just by talking to someone and not by buying/selling? Makes sense I guess, I may have to try that.

    Using "intimidate" "persuade" and "bribe" all raise your skill. There is a dude at the counter @ the Black Briar and you can run a loop asking about Maven Black Briar and selecting the persuade option over and over. It's very spamable.

  16. I was home sick again yesterday. I felt like shit, but I had an entire day of Skyrim; and it worked out pretty well as I needed to burn out some of my paid sick hours before the year. So, I basically got paid for playing Skyrim yesterday. I started the Thieves' Guild quests, did a shit ton of pish posh errands for people in Riften who all needed 5+ of an expensive ingredient I could make into a banging potion. 10 fire salts? Are you fucking kidding me? 5 Ice Wraith Teeth? Fuck me! I also got the majority of the College of Winterhold missions. I saved last night at 3AM inside Labrinthia or whatever to get the Staff of Magnum Condoms so I can hopefully shove it up the ass of the Elf, Arcano or whatever. I came to the College to party; not to deal with this shit. I have kind of enjoyed the College missions and stop by there regularly to steal ingredients and sell my magical findings. Much better than having to go see that shithead in Dragon's Reach.

    I got my Speech skill to 100 by mashing the "A" button with the guy in the Black Briar Meadery; while watching "Top Chef" on the TV. I would switch back to the game to make sure I was still talking to him and to check my progress. I think it took an entire day in game. As soon as I hit 100, he was like, "You have to leave."

    I'm loving this game and can't wait to get back into it when I get off work today!

    • Like 1

  17. What are the Khajit?

    I thought by their accent, the fact they travel in caravans and live in a desert world they were the sand honkys. Something very Persian about them.

    Ah, that explains the thick aroma of cologne and their addiction to hard to find drugs; that they only appear to have. Very spot on.