ViceMan

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Status Updates posted by ViceMan

  1. Does anyone want a free ticket for an hour's session with a Thai ladyboi - oiled rubdown included?

    1. Show previous comments  19 more
    2. Brian

      Brian

      He can still sort me out in his own inimitable way.

    3. angeal18

      angeal18

      Where did you get that ticket...? Someone raided my house and stole some things of mine including that ticket, my assless chaps and my penis pump. Vicey would you know anything about this?

    4. Qdeathstar

      Qdeathstar

      /me takes ticket.

      Gee thanks brian.

  2. *bleeds slowly to death while waving severed arm around*

  3. I'm trying to think of a song name, the tune goes "buh-duh, duh duh duh, duh duh, duh, duh duh, buh-duh duh duh duh duh, buh-duh..." I can't remember if it was from the 70's or 80's, but i'm pretty sure it was either a synthesizer or a guitar with a wah wah pedal. Any eyed deers?

    1. Show previous comments  14 more
    2. Mattay

      Mattay

      foolin' - def leppard

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      No. Try again.

    4. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      FUCK! I GOT IT! It was Dire Straits - Money for Nothing. From the very beginning there was a nagging doubt in my head it was a Dire Straits song. I FUCKING KNEW IT! Case closed people.

  4. Well it's new year, guess I should go do something memorable. *goes to play Skyrim*

  5. ViceMan is NOT - I repeat - NOT alive.

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Jizzy

      Jizzy

      I have sex with goats.

    3. Brian

      Brian

      Brian, ain't you dead?

    4. Pump Action Pimp

      Pump Action Pimp

      Nah Emmett, the other one, Carl.

  6. Demon, why'd you go and blow Oslo up and then shoot a load of people?

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. Massacre

      Massacre

      Demon, you were supposed to get mad at me so I could tell you not to "blow up" at me...

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      He "exploded" in a fit of rage and "fired off" several scathing insults at random bystanders. I was trying to think of a joke involving "shooting some pool" for the people he shot in the water, but it'll probably be destined to fail. Meh.

    4. Post-traumatic amnesia

      Post-traumatic amnesia

      I "exploded" a few times in my sitting room while watching the carnage on TV. Not long after, I slipped in my explosions and fell, now I'm at hospital in the same room as some massacre survivors. Life is ironic, isn't it?

  7. any noo places on gtav dat yu cn take a shit??? wot u fink?? pls reply no spaming pls thx

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. Qdeathstar

      Qdeathstar

      Nukem, not nikon?

    3. DiO

      DiO

      Nikon forever would have been a better game...

    4. fanman

      fanman

      leave that out of this

  8. Still cheaper to buy a physical copy of a game rather than download, what year is this again?

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. TreeFitty

      TreeFitty

      Stop using logic and just give them your money.

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      I already did, just 10 quid less of it for a physical copy.

    4. Qdeathstar

      Qdeathstar

      @dupz, you can but you got to remember to deauthorize the game before you leave, the real problem, as far as sharing games like you say, is the 3-4 hrs it takes to download them. 

  9. *looks at recent topics list, is disappointed with humanity for breeding such fuckwitted tards*

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. iGTA5

      iGTA5

      your welcome.. im not leaving this site though.. this is where my heart is.. lol being sarcastic..

  10. Anyone here who lives in Dorset that I can stalk for the next week? I offer competitive rates for an affordable, pay-as-you-go stalking service; please note - I do requests for special attire while stalking, at an extra cost of £4.99 per mile.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      I'd like it if we could use the initial period as probation, after which we'll open negotiations on a long-term contract.

      *hangs various unmentionables on the clothesline*

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      Very well, i'll speak to my legal team on the matter. I'll fax you with the details ASAP.

    4. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      Oh, for the record, no GPS microchip implants without prior written consent.

  11. Want to make a secondary character as everybody else seems to but can't think of anything that isn't clichéd already. Maybe a Trevor-esque character.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      I read Dup's post where he said his character looked like Tony Montana and it made me want to do something like that, but again that's going on mafia style.

    3. DiO

      DiO

      make ur father look mostly like your granfather, then crank your resemblance to your father. get no sleep and crank ur age. i did that to make an old lookin fuck. u get a double chin too. thats why my dude looks different than most http://prod.cloud.rockstargames.com/ugc/gta5photo/9212/c4X_kNtp5kS8VOPyF7ooAw/0_0.jpg

    4. Ku Zi Mu

      Ku Zi Mu

      I thought that was because of the glasses and bandana...

      Vice, if you want an awesome, unique character just be me. That one of a kind feeling will soon kick in.

  12. New rule; post before searching. Do it you noob cunts.

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. Billy SODMG

      Billy SODMG

      Of course, of course.

    3. Qdeathstar

      Qdeathstar

      You know, I'm really getting tired of hearing your shit, ViceMan.

      Searching is for geeks, lamo's, and loosers who only use the "search" tool as a masturbation aid.

  13. Still hasn't despatched, looks like i'll be getting it ON release day then. *feigns disappointment*

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. Edgecrusher

      Edgecrusher

      They tried to dispatch mine on Friday, but as my bank account is empty until tomorrow, it's been put on hold until I verify my payment info.

    3. DuPz0r

      DuPz0r

      Oh noes^ That sucks.

    4. Santiago
  14. What's the highest rank you've seen while playing GTAO? Earlier I saw a guy who was 138. Fucking ridiculous.

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. GunSmith
    3. Rayge

      Rayge

      I'm level ~43, and I've done the criminal records on and off, 5 here 5 there.

  15. I love it when you take a shit and it comes out nice and easy and breaks off in the right place so you don't even have to wipe your arse. At the other end of the spectrum, I hate it when it gets all stringy and any attempt to remove it with toilet paper causes it to become smooshed into your anal hair, why the fuck do we need hair around our arseholes anyway?! It defies logic and reason.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      Oui monsieur.

    3. Post-traumatic amnesia

      Post-traumatic amnesia

      You must make up your mind, you either are proud of your arse bushes or take action against it.

      In the first case you post pictures of it, in the latter case you post about your Brazilian wax experience.

    4. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      I've suddenly gone all shy and coy. *blushes and looks away*

  16. Off to find good house locations in Skyrim, any suggestions?

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      Thanks for devouring me btw. Would you do it again in the Throat of the World? It sounds intriguing.

    3. Massacre

      Massacre

      He wants you to give him the Deepthroat of the World.

    4. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      I'll rock his world. ;)

  17. Fuck, fuck, fuck, pins and needles in my cock again.

  18. As we enter the final hours, remember my homo brothers (and sisters;) this is a once in a lifetime feeling. If you choose to spoil it looking at gameplay footage so be it, you are weak-willed fools. To the proud americans leaking the footage and trying to spoil it for everybody - fuck you, you aren't true GTA fans. The wait is almost over people, the wait is almost over... see you on the streets of Los Santos.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Massacre
    3. gtagrl
    4. DuPz0r

      DuPz0r

      Well said. Indeed, see you all in LS end of the month!

  19. Anyone bothered to find this RDII revolver in Online? Don't know if I can be arsed to load up GTA to see what the fuss is about.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      I got it done at the beach, lots of NPCs and cops there.

    3. Bronson

      Bronson

      And to be clear they have to be headshots with the revolver right?

       

      Nevermind just finished it. It was fun but should have been longer. Can’t wait to do stuff like that in RDR2. Just hope they’ll be longer in it.

    4. Pobjason

      Pobjason

      me and the wife got it done, it doesnt take that long

  20. Merry generic seasonal holiday and/or religious event, you fuckers.

  21. GTA V IS RELEASED TOMORROW!!!! WOO!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Brian

      Brian

      MINE CAMEZ EITH A CJ SHAPED DALDO!121111111

    3. TreeFitty

      TreeFitty

      BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

    4. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      TIS GAME IZ SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUD I PLAYD FR SO LONG AND GOT FAR IN2 D STORY NOW IM IN VICE CITYY AND WORKIN FR TOMMY.

  22. do u guys think gtA V 5 will b releesd tomorow?????

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Qdeathstar

      Qdeathstar

      I take u bet viceman but onwy 4 3 dollars cuz that Wat my mom say I can hav

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      i am a muesli i dunt support jiisus, go aller!! aller ak bin d gratdest woo!!!!

    4. Brian

      Brian

      Muhamoor Sahoor Kahn

  23. Back for some lovin'... y'all know what I mean.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      The proud americanry meter reading went up as soon as you logged in.

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      Are you sure you're not picking up residual proud americanry from Pieface?

    4. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      Pieface does maintain a constant baseline that the gaydar can't go below. Tell you what, because it's you, I'll recalibrate the machine.

  24. This site has really been falling apart since Psy went to South Korea and achieved global stardom.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. GunSmith

      GunSmith

      I was wondering if it was the same one, but then I saw a couple pics from before his massive fame and wondered how he became a short, fat Korean.

    3. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      Fame does that to you.

    4. GunSmith

      GunSmith

      Just look at Kim-Jong Il. Before his arrival to power, he was a middle-aged Polish woman.

  25. *waves bye bye to Europe*

    *pushes off from the dock at Calais*

    *UK begins to float away from continental Europe into the Atlantic*

    *waves again, wipes away a tear*

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. ViceMan

      ViceMan

      Mmmm, maple penises...

       

      ...oh sorry I got carried away.

    3. gtagrl

      gtagrl

      Smoked bacon goes well with filet de Canuck, and maybe a nice brown ale. 

    4. Massacre

      Massacre

      Not sure if hungry or aroused, now.